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	<title>Four Agreements &#187; advice</title>
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	<link>http://toltecspirit.com/four</link>
	<description>Common Sense Wisdom for the Spiritual Warrior's Journey</description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jul 2008 07:42:14 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Advice</title>
		<link>http://toltecspirit.com/four/2008/01/17/advice/</link>
		<comments>http://toltecspirit.com/four/2008/01/17/advice/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2008 06:05:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gary</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Four Agreements]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Impeccability of the Word]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Spiritual Teacher]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[advice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[bad advice]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[emotional suffering]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[unhappiness]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Bad Advice
Advice often comes from the Blind.   People in emotional pain reach out, to anyone, even those that don&#8217;t know how to help.  Although they try to help, and intend to help, they don&#8217;t.   Sometimes they just make things worse.
In a forum someone wrote:
I am very miserbale and sometimes feel [...]<script type="text/javascript">SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Advice", url: "http://toltecspirit.com/four/2008/01/17/advice/" });</script>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Bad Advice</p>
<p>Advice often comes from the Blind.   People in emotional pain reach out, to anyone, even those that don&#8217;t know how to help.  Although they try to help, and intend to help, they don&#8217;t.   Sometimes they just make things worse.</p>
<p>In a forum someone wrote:</p>
<blockquote><p><em>I am very miserbale and sometimes feel like giving up.   What are some things that I can do to be happy.   Do you know of any websites I could use?&#8230;.ANYTHING<br />
Are you happy?What makes you happy?   &#8212; Miserable</em></p></blockquote>
<p>One of the bits of advice they got back was:</p>
<blockquote><p><em> Think about a warm puppy.   </em> <em>Another person suggested to forget about your self for a while and focus on helping others. </em></p></blockquote>
<p>Other bits were helpful, but too often people give advice that can&#8217;t be integrated.  IF this person is really miserable then it is unlikely that they will be able to focus their attention on a warm puppy.  They might think about a warm puppy, but jump to the fact that they want one but don&#8217;t have one.   If a person doesn&#8217;t have the skill to focus their attention where they choose, then suggesting that they focus on something positive is not just a waste of time, but setting them up for failure.  This will take them on a deeper downward spiral.<br />
If a person is drowning, do you suggest to them that they try the breast stroke?</p>
<p>Then if a person is drowning in emotional suffering there are many good intentions, suggestions, and advice that don&#8217;t amount to a life raft or a helping hand.  If you don&#8217;t have something that you know will help, then don&#8217;t throw anything that will help them sink further.</p>
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